After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
