It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize