either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize