Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
