That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
