So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
