There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
