I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
