I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
