my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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