Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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