I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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