So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
