K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
