The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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