I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
