physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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