nutella sex= disaster
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
