Why does Corona taste like a burp?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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