One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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