Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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