ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
