i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize