Yo dont text me then not text me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
