At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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