i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
