laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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