why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just found puke in my bra..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize