You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
