i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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