My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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