He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
