hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
