Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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