i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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