my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize