garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
