Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Randomize
