I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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