yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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