Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

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(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.

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(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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(+81): View more from

I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.

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(512): View more from Texas

Come to this bar

(1-512): View more from Texas

But I'm full of food.

(512): View more from Texas

MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just got my second shot

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days

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