I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
