you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
COCAINE IS GR8
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
