I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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