the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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