i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
