she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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