she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
