How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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