I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
