Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
