this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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