Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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