he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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