u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
