i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
