ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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