In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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