She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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