If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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