i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
sex in a hospital.. check
MIDGETS
????
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
