remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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