It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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