so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
