but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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