i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
